Ouch.
My throat hurts. Like, my muscles on the inside of my throat hurt. I've never felt that before...I think that I'm going to stick to what I'm good at, which is restricting. My little run in with purging was not very good for me.
I talked to W last night. I told him everything. I just broke down and told him. Well, I didn't cry, but my resolve broke. He was telling me that he had never known anyone with problems like me. He never had a friend with depression, or who cut, or who had a raging eating disorder. He told me that he had been doing research to see what he could do to help me. What a sweetheart. Too bad I'm probably going to try to avoid that help.....that's how fucked up I am. When the guy that I sort of like decides that he's going to take it upon himself to make me better, I'm just going to throw it back in his face.
I'm going to feel horrible about it. But that doesn't make it okay.
I told him that I would start blogging only every other day instead of every day, but we see how well that turned out....
<3
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I'm glad you could open up to him & I'm so pleased you have someone like him in your life who wants to do what he can to help him. I hope you'll try and let him, even if just a little bit. Lots of love x x
ReplyDeletehe seems really sweet but I know what you mean about throwing it back in his face. Goodluck and maybe he really will help :)
ReplyDeleteOnly let him into the bits of your life that you are comfortable with, he does sound very thoughtful and caring though, so do keep him around :) xx
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