I have a confession to make.....
I purged for the first time. Ever. I was having such a good day, just an apple for breakfast and no lunch (I even hung out with Almond Boy today!), but then dinner came around....and I wouldn't say I binged, because that scares me so fucking badly, but I ate more than I was intending to. And so I came back to my dorm and I forced myself to throw it up. I've never done that before. I've always been so good at the restricting, I never felt like I needed to purge, and when I did, I could never actually get myself to throw up. But I did tonight and...well, it felt shitty, but it also felt good. I'm all empty now, and I think I did it soon enough that I didn't absorb too many calories from dinner.
I want to talk to W. But I shouldn't. I can't. But I need to talk to someone, not so they can convince me to stop, but so that I can....talk! I just need to vocalize what's going on right now, and maybe that will make me feel less out of control. I don't know.
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ReplyDeleteLots of love beautiful x x
Try not to purge again :( It really does so much damage >< Maybe try making out a meal plan for the week and stick to that? I've only purged a few times, and it does make you feel quite ill afterwards :( Hope your looking after yourself <3
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