E.....and prom

I wrote a really long post yesterday, but as I was about to finish it up, my dad came home, so I had to close the window really fast.  So I lost my post!

I'm so tired right now....prom is tomorrow night, and right now I don't feel excited.  I should be excited.  The guy that I like is going with my group.  Huh, it's so weird, I just realized that it's been so long since my last post that I haven't told you about him :)  It makes me smile just to think about him.  For the sake of this blog, we'll call him E.  E is in my Russian Lit class, and I've kind of had a thing for him for almost 4 years now.  But recently he's actually started to notice me.  Like the other day, we hung out after school, just walking around campus and talking for almost 2 hours.  Then, instead of letting me walk home (I live about 2 blocks away from campus) he insisted that he drive me home.  I discovered that he has the same taste in music as me (which is awesome!)  He's so smart, too; he got into Stanford, and yesterday he found out that he got into Harvard. Harvard.  I fail at life in comparison to him, but he's super humble and doesn't rub it in your face, you know?  He's our class president and he's in journalism and he's a freaking amazing basketball player....There's pretty much nothing he can't do.  Which is why this little crush hasn't really moved past that point.  I know that I'm not good enough for him, no way.  Me with my B+ average and my quiet personality and my totally fucked up mind....

My dress for prom comes tonight.  I don't even know if I want to put it on; I don't want to see the fat pressing against straining seams, I don't want my legs bared for the world to see my trunk-like thighs.  It's going to be horrible.

I did a fast today, so if I can carry that through until tomorrow, maybe I'll feel better.  I doubt it, but it's worth a shot.

I'm sorry for the crappy post.  My mind is not all here today, so this is just some unfiltered garbage.

I love you all, and I'll try to post more, I promise <3

Stay strong, my dears.