I inexplicably spent two hours last night surfing the internet for sites where I could buy sleeping pills. I haven't been suicidal for a couple of months now, but it just slithered back into my thoughts. It was so natural to think about it.
If I just downed the bottle, I would be gone. Floating away in a dreamless cloud. Peaceful at last.....
Intake today....
Breakfast: 1/2 grapefruit (60)
Lunch: Wheat Bagel w/ Lite Cream Cheese (WHY????.....310)
Dinner: 1 roll (80), lettuce (10), frozen yogurt (again, why?????.....88)
Total is around 700. Not horrible, but not where I'd like to be. I don't lose at 700, inexplicably.
Should I just escape all of this? It would be so easy.....
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i think you did very well for the day. esp breakfast and dinner... have to watch those carbs tho, they add calories quick. :( but they taste sooo damn good.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, please find someone who can help you. You can escape this but it's not through taking your life. You can come through this and live. There is so much out there. Please don't hurt yourself.
ReplyDeleteI'm worried about you. X x