Last Night

So I have an interesting story for you all.

Last night was my friend's birthday, so we decided that getting very drunk off of champagne and such would be a good idea.  And it was, for a little while.

But the thing is, I have been upset and on the verge of cutting for a few days now, and once my happy drunk began tapering off last night, I got very depressed.  So I grabbed my brand new razor blades and I cut.  Then I went back in and hung out with my friends, bandages on my arms. They didn't notice because they were all too drunk.

I wish that was all that happened.  After I went back in, I only stayed for about half an hour before I started to feel claustrophobic, so I grabbed the razor blades again and went and lay out on the couch.  At this point, I was tired, still drunk, and very depressed.  So I turned on Sia's "Breathe Me", took out my razor, and...well, you get it.  But basically I cut very deep.  Very deep.

I passed out on the couch in my dorm's common room, and when all of my friends came out of my room and into the common room, looking for me, they found me with a bloody razor in my hand, passed out, blood dripping from my arm and fingers onto the couch and down on the floor.  I was apparently shivering and shuddering like it was freezing out.

So yeah, that was my evening.  My friends all know about that particular issue I have now.  My one friend was crying when he found me, because I was bleeding from my wrists and I was passed out.  I ended up being the one that comforted him.

I'll post again later, my thoughts are a bit of a jumble right now.  Love you all <3