FREAK OUT!

Something really scary happened to me today in my Calculus class. I was sitting in the back, taking notes and doing homework, when all of a sudden my heart just took off. I don't know what caused it, but all of a sudden my breath was coming in short gasps, my hands were shaking so badly that I couldn't write anything, and I started seeing black spots in my vision. I almost fell out of my seat, I was so dizzy. But those things were nothing compared to my heart. It was beating as fast as the blades of a helicopter turning. I have heard that after someone has a bypass surgery on their heart, you can feel it beating for months afterwards because they cut off the tissue surrounding the heart that muffles the thumping. I imagine what I felt today was something close to that unmuffled pounding. I thought that it was going to literally pound through my rib cage and onto my desk in front of me. It was terrifying.

Of course, no one noticed, and it went on through the rest of the class. I had to stay in at lunch because I could barely stand, so I couldn't get up out of my seat. That meant that I didn't have to deal with my "friends" harassing me about my lack of eating, but honestly I would have rather sat through that than what had happened.

What happened to me??? All I know is that if I'm going to pass out, I hope it never happens like that again.

In other news, I had to go to the doctor today. hip hip hooray. She commented on how much weight I had lost, smiling tightly, and since I'm not 18, I know she's going to call my mom and tell her. I'll have my favorite comeback ready for her, though:

Mom- So Dr. B says you're losing weight again. Honey, I'm nervous, are you going back to your old habits?
Me- Do I look anorexic?

She'll sigh, shake her head, and then drop the subject. Her confirmation that I don't look skinny enough will give my determination a good shot of energy, and it will simultaneously console her. :)

I hope that you all are doing wonderfully.

Stay strong, my lovelies <3