I hate when my weight goes all crazy. So what happened after my last post was that I gained back three pounds, although I'm pretty sure it was all muscle weight, because then I proceeded to lose 5 pounds. That was just in one week! So it was a net loss of 2 pounds, which is good because as soon as I discovered I had gained back 3 pounds, I freaked.
I'm getting leaner again, from working out. My roommate and I do this workout thing every day now, and it absolutely kills. It's kind of a combination of ballet, yoga, and orthopedic exercises. I love it! So I do that every day and then I do cardio on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I don't remember if I've told you guys this already, so bear with me if I have. I've been a little scatterbrained as of late.
So my friends have said that they want me to start seeing someone, for treatment and stuff. I don't know why they are doing this, I have made it pretty clear (or as clear as I could without being a bitch to them), that I do not want treatment, that I am just fine with how things are right now, thank you very much. But they have somehow got me an appointment for an evaluation on Friday... I don't know how I'm going to get out of it. I guess I could just disappear after my classes on Friday... that's what I did the morning after my incident a couple of weeks ago. I have a bad habit of running away from problems rather than confronting them, but in this situation I don't know what else to do... I have already seen people for my eating disorder and depression (not helpful at all), and while I haven't officially been diagnosed for some of my other neuroses, I'm pretty sure that I have symptoms of a manic depressive with some OCD tossed in there. Yippie. I don't need some evaluation to tell me that I am indeed quite fucked up.
Any ideas on what I should do? If I don't go, I'm pretty sure my friends will feel a bit betrayed, but I'm sure they'll understand, even if I did want treatment I wouldn't rush into things like that.
Having lunch with my bestie in about an hour. Probably just going to drink some water. I've been pretty sick, so I'll just use that as an excuse for not eating.
Stay strong, lovelies <3
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Thanks for commenting. It definitely seems to be very common among dancers and gymnasts. I quit dancing and competitive cheerleading three years ago when I injured my knee, so it makes no sense at all that I'm still dealing with this.
ReplyDeleteI wish I had advice for avoiding your Friday appointment. When I was a kid, my mom made me see so many specialists for my depression, obsessive-compulsive, and anxiety issues. I mostly just lied to the therapists to get through all of my appointments until I was able to convince everyone in my life that I was better. Therapy only works if you want it to.
You've got all my support,
Dainty
I'm glad your friends are looking out for you. They care about you. I hope you go x x
ReplyDeleteI would go to the app, but then just say, if they ask you if you want treatment that your fine and would prefer to keep things how they are, lie a bit about your eating and stuff, so they don't intervene, and then you've made your friend happy without having more treatment xx
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