Not eating again....

So my sister is driving me crazy. I love her to death, but I don't think she understands that her career is hanging on how much weight she looses. I think I've told you all this before, but K (my sister) is a ballet dancer. She was told that she is the best at her school, and she has a shot at being in the company, but the school director told her that she needed to lose some weight. Then, she comes home today, after her first day of ballet in 4 weeks, with a donut in one hand and a bag of Redvines in her purse. It's really awful to watch her spiral down like this. So here's how the conversation transpired:
Me: when did you get those?
K: Oh, I went by Safeway on the way home. You want some? (holding out the Redvines)
Me: I'm okay, just ate. Um...do you think you should be eating those?
K: Why not?
Me: Well, I just thought you were trying to lose weight....Nevermind, forget it.
K: Cut me some slack, I just danced for 4 hours straight, I can afford some sweets.
Me: But you used to do that all the time. I'm just trying to help, and eating a donut and candy isn't exactly conducive to your goals right now, okay?
K: Are you saying I'm getting fat?
Me: Did you hear me say anything like that? Of course you aren't! You're a twig, and you're beautiful, I just thought you wanted to lose weight. (I turn to walk away).
K: Just 'cause I'm not starving myself doesn't mean I'm not dieting.

I let it slide, but it hurt me, I'm not going to lie. This is the girl that I go to for support. When I was cutting my wrists and starting to scare myself, I told her. When I wanted to park my car across the train tracks and just end it, I told her and she helped me out of it. But this is something I just can't tell her. Not ever. Thank goodness I have you guys to vent to, otherwise I might go insane in this lonely fight.

I think I wouldn't have gotten so upset if it hadn't been for similar comments that have been occurring regularly this past week. At lunch, my friend "B," noticing my quarter of a rice cake that I'm nibbling on for lunch, goes "So how is that zero calorie diet going for you?" Then he laughs. Then my other friend, E, decides to put his two cents in and says, "Come on, it's not like she looks annorexic or anything, right?" They both snigger. Ever since that lunch, they've been making comments like that, and it's tearing me apart inside. I shouldn't let those assholes get to me, I know, but they do. The fact that they think me with an eating disorder is a laughable situation does nothing to stem the flow of anger and hurt. Today, after some particularly nasty comments, I ran to my next class, with half an hour left of lunch, and just silently cried at my desk. I feel so weak, so vulnerable.

Help?

My ghostly fingers are reaching into the shadows....will someone grab hold and tell me everything will be alright?

I just want to prove to those fuckers that I can be beautiful and thin, and I'll shove their laughter down their throats, in the hope that they'll choke on it.

I'm not full of much inspiration today, so I'm just going to say this: Stay strong, my darlings <3