Friday, July 13, 2012

Oh hey! Remember me?

Wow.  I seriously cannot remember the last time I was on here.

Recently, I've gotten sucked into the black hole that is the Twitter Ana-family. It's actually severely out of control.  When I'm at work, I have my Twitter feed open on my computer AND on my phone.  At night, I lie in bed scrollingscrollingscrolling, keeping my sister awake with the light from my phone illuminating the room in a bluish glow.  Like, what???? But I do find that it's helpful for me to reach my goals when I'm on there.  The immediate feedback of my five-hundred-something followers keeps me strong, while an endless stream of thinspo keeps me distracted from food.

But it is difficult sometimes to express what's going on in 140 characters or less.  So I'm going to try to juggle both this blog and my Twitter from now on. Here's an update of what's been going on with me:

Last week was my birthday.  I had about 5 "birthday dinners" with a bunch of different people over the course of the entire week.  I ate just enough to get by, worked out like a motherfucker, and managed not to gain (I actually lost 2.6 pounds!).  This weekend my family and friends threw me a party, and we went to a fireworks extravaganza, where there was BBQ galore.  I quickly snagged a Diet Coke and tried to roam about with my friends without anyone noticing that I wasn't eating.  Unfortunately, my mom did notice, so she bought me a Linguica sausage (a million calories), and stood there watching me.  She didn't leave me alone until I had eaten the whole thing in front of her.  I felt so sick.  I felt disgusting.  I was actually crying by the time I finished it. I couldn't do anything to get rid of it.

Lucky for me, my body is NOT used to that much meat and fat, and I puked my guts out about an hour later.  I'm pretty sure the calories had already been absorbed, but at least I was empty.  Didn't even have to purge, my body just flat out rejected it.  SCORE.

My parents and sister are going to be gone for a week in two weeks, so I'm planning on doing a week-long fast while they're gone.  Super psyched.

That's all for now, I've missed you lovelies!!! xx

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