Paper Bag

Helloooooo!

I have that song "Paper Bag" by Fiona Apple stuck in my head, which reminded me of the fact that I haven't posted on here in forever.  Which I don't really need to be reminded of; I think about you guys and this blog every day.

My weight is steadily dropping again.  Since my job requires a lot of hiking and backpacking and such, I've been burning so many calories, it's brilliant.  Unfortunately, where I am currently living, there is very little access to fruits and vegetables for me to control myself with, so I've pretty much been surviving on nonfat Chai Lattes and rice cakes.

E and I have been "dating" for a few weeks now.  I stayed out with him until the wee hours of the morning last night (that sentence makes no sense), just talking.  He took me out to a restaurant that specializes in salads, so it was easy for me to just slip under the radar a bit.  I had mixed greens (no dressing) and a Diet Coke (80 calories total).  It was a good night on all fronts.  Except for the fact that he now knows about my....history.  Of depression. And cutting. And not eating. And suicidal contemplations.  It was a bit of a rough conversation (with me avoiding eye contact for most of it), but he didn't run away screaming, so that's a plus. But now he knows what to look out for, so I'm a bit worried about my freedom to avoid calories when I'm around him.  I guess we'll see.

I love you guys.