Breakfast: Kashi (85 calories)
Lunch: large Diet Coke (0 calories)

Sorry I haven't been around for so long. I missed you guys.

I bought rice cakes to take back to my dorm. I'm going to start using the
as meal replacements like I used to.

I'll post later, when I'm on my computer. Love you guys.

Restart

Hello lovelies :)

So, I did the liquid fast this weekend.  But I forgot that I had a geology field trip (where I burned 3000 calories each day from hiking....that's not an exaggeration, I actually calculated it).  Needless to say, I ran into some problems.  I may or may not have passed out on the trail.  Moral of the story, I was forced to eat some solid food this weekend in order to function.  But I still lost three pounds in two days!!!

I'm going to restart the liquid fast tomorrow, and go for a week.  I don't have any crazy physical stuff that I need to be doing (although a couple of visits to the gym will definitely be happening, along with my ballet classes), so I won't be forced into having more than a liquid fast can provide.

I'm going to go check my dashboard to see how your guys' weekends went.  Love you lots <3

One Week Liquid Fast

Yes, yes, I know, I stole this idea from the lovely Ell (if you are not following her, you should.  She is one of the most lovely human beings on the planet).  She was such an inspiration, so starting tomorrow I am going to do a one week long liquid fast.

I just went and  weighed myself between ^that paragraph and this one, and I'm actually crying.  Well, crying is not exactly how I'd describe it.....sobbing is probably a better word.  Trembling with horror.  Biting my lip in agony.  I'm so disappointed in myself.  I want to cut, but I can't find my knife and I think W hid it from me.  I'm mad that he did that, he can't control things like that.  I need some sort of release right now.  Oh god.  How could I have let this happen?

Words can't even describe the state of despair I'm in right now.  I love you girlies, I promise I'll be back on track soon.  No more despairing posts, the next time I post I'll be shining and strong, I promise you all <3

I don't care

My food today started off horrible, but I got everything under control by the end of the day.....

Intake:
Bagel (340 cals)
Lentil soup (100)
Apple (80)


I skipped dinner, and W noticed, but I honestly to not give a fuck right now.  I don't want to talk to anyone, I'm in such a bad mood and all I want to do is sleep for days and days and days and maybe when I wake up again I'll be skinny and in a better mood and all of the work that is piling up will have done itself.

Good News and Bad News

Hello loves.

So, the good news is that I have managed to hydrate enough and rest enough that the effects of overdosing on those pills seems to be wearing off.  I have a bit of a headache and a fever, but my heart has settled down and I've stopped shaking.

Tonight I threw a party in my dorm room in the spirit of halloween, and Almond Boy finally came to my party.  He was putting his arm around me and definitely seemed interested, but since I was freaking out about the whole pills thing, and I wasn't drinking so I was generally a little bit subdued, I think I screwed things up.  I couldn't make conversation to save my life, and he left with his friend after about half an hour. I think he thought that I wasn't interested, and so he just gave up.  So that's the bad news.  I wish he had come on a night when I wasn't feeling quite so crappy and confused about life.  I don't think I'll get another chance, and I'm really upset.

Tonight did not turn out the way that it was supposed to.  This sucks.