I wrote a really long post yesterday, but as I was about to finish it up, my dad came home, so I had to close the window really fast. So I lost my post!
I'm so tired right now....prom is tomorrow night, and right now I don't feel excited. I should be excited. The guy that I like is going with my group. Huh, it's so weird, I just realized that it's been so long since my last post that I haven't told you about him :) It makes me smile just to think about him. For the sake of this blog, we'll call him E. E is in my Russian Lit class, and I've kind of had a thing for him for almost 4 years now. But recently he's actually started to notice me. Like the other day, we hung out after school, just walking around campus and talking for almost 2 hours. Then, instead of letting me walk home (I live about 2 blocks away from campus) he insisted that he drive me home. I discovered that he has the same taste in music as me (which is awesome!) He's so smart, too; he got into Stanford, and yesterday he found out that he got into Harvard. Harvard. I fail at life in comparison to him, but he's super humble and doesn't rub it in your face, you know? He's our class president and he's in journalism and he's a freaking amazing basketball player....There's pretty much nothing he can't do. Which is why this little crush hasn't really moved past that point. I know that I'm not good enough for him, no way. Me with my B+ average and my quiet personality and my totally fucked up mind....
My dress for prom comes tonight. I don't even know if I want to put it on; I don't want to see the fat pressing against straining seams, I don't want my legs bared for the world to see my trunk-like thighs. It's going to be horrible.
I did a fast today, so if I can carry that through until tomorrow, maybe I'll feel better. I doubt it, but it's worth a shot.
I'm sorry for the crappy post. My mind is not all here today, so this is just some unfiltered garbage.
I love you all, and I'll try to post more, I promise <3
Stay strong, my dears.
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You are beautiful. I hope you have a great night at prom :) x
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